Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
