She is in my trunk
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize