im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize