Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I need moral support for this bender
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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