I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
