i would punch a child for taco bell
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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