In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
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Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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