You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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