You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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