He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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