You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
