I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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