dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
