im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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