just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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