This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
