Where did you get a picture of my penis
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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