Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
