I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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