she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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