That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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