Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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