Need sex. Gaining weight.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
