For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
