how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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