# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
