38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
