What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
