why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
