i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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