No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
