We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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