i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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