You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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