I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize