I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
