i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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