let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
