apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
