Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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