I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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