hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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