Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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