I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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