It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
