Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
