and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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