I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
