I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
