Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
