so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
