Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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