dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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