Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
