I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
