I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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