the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
