What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He passed out mid-signature
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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