Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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