best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
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I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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