Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize