Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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