Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
