champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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