I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
