If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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