i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
