ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
