Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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