He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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