Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
